Friday, December 4, 2009

Because I Am A Slacker.............

My first post in almost a month, and yes I am taking the easy way out. Has it really been almost a month since my last post? (Don't answer that.) I am disappointed in myself! I have excuses- plenty of them- but will save you all the bore. This time of year seems to kick my butt and I haven't had time to read other blogs I follow, yet alone update my own. We did get family pictures taken! They make my heart smile. Here they are :) I promise to catch up on all your blogs soon!!














Saturday, November 7, 2009

My Better Half

My blog is filled with raw personal experiences coupled with clips of motherhood, and daily life. From best friends, birthdays and babies, to family holidays, loss of loved ones, and pre-school graduations, this site is my heart. Although I lovingly mention him, not enough has been said about my husband.


There have been nights I lay awake in awe at him. There are many days when I wish I was more like him; strong, direct, unruffled and inconceivably simple in terms of what is meaningful in life. He brings a balance to my life that I didn't know could exist. He is the ying to my yang. He is strong, decent, and consistent. He is an amazing father. Our girls adore him. He loves me fiercely and is overwhelmingly loyal. He is my better half.


When I was in the very heart of my eating disorder, he never gave up on me. When I had lost every recognizable sense of myself, and lost the capacity to think reasonably and act rationally, for some reason, I never lost him. I still question that fact some days, and when I ask him why he never gave up on me, his answer was simple; “I know your heart babe….I know you.” His insight into who I was is what helped me find my true self.


For as long as I can remember I have been stubbornly (almost painfully) independent and attached to controlling my own existence. Somehow our marriage slowly changed all that. Don't get me wrong, I can still be stubborn, but for the most part, I have let go of trying to manipulate things that are entirely out of my control. I let life happen instead of worrying about what could go wrong. This surrendering -to life- originated from the awareness that our marriage is, at all times, something bigger than any obstacle we may face as a couple or as a family. There is such power in that realization. Sure X and Y may happen, but we as a couple, are stronger than X and Y.


"Marriage is a commitment to life,
the best that two people can find and bring out in each other.
It offers opportunities for sharing and growth
that no other relationship can equal.
It is a physical and an emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.
Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life's more important relationships.
A wife and husband are each other's best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic.
And there may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing,
and the love of the other may resemble the tender caring of a parent or child.
Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life.
Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher,
commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly, and passes away more quickly.
Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid.
It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, new ways of expressing a love that is deeper than life.
When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage,
they create a spirit unique unto themselves, which binds them closer
than any spoken or written words.
Marriage is a promise, a potential made in the hearts of two people who love each other,
and takes a lifetime to fulfill."


I found the above marriage definition a while back, Everything it says about marriage is exactly true, and when I got married, I lacked something that governs this passage -- a little something called faith. Faith was always a gamble for me, especially considering my whole life revolved around control and planning in order to avoid getting hurt. The concept of marriage and merging with another human being is none of those things. And, yet, it's something I have always wanted. I wanted to let go and I feel like I am almost there because of my husband. Ray, has made it safe for me to put up the white flag and accept that life cannot always be controlled, Sometimes, you just have to have a little faith, not only in yourself, but in the universe as a whole.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Trick-Or-Treat 2009

I love Halloween. Growing up in Montana, it was almost always snowing or there was already snow on the ground. If the snow had- by chance- melted that day, the roads were icy at night. It was a bummer to get all excited about your costume only to cover it up at night in order to prevent hypothermia. So, basically Halloween night went a little something like this:

1) Knock on door
2) "Trick or Treat!"
3) Unzip jacket and flash the person at the door to show off awesome costume
4) Accept candy
5) "Thank you!"
6) Walk next door
7) Repeat.

When people in Boise think it's cold, I have to laugh (on the inside of course). If you don't have to wear a snowsuit, ski mask, or gloves with hand warmers inside, it's not cold. In fact, last night was beautiful in Boise. Presley got away with a light jacket under her Thumbelina outfit. It was great, and my favorite Halloween thus far with the kiddos.
Halloween Eve we went to a party for Presley's friend Jada who turned 3. I had the cutest little ladybug costume for Carsyn, which she hated, because she wanted to wear Presley's costume. As most little sisters do, she wanted to dress just like her big sister.
Grandma Kali sent matching Halloween outfits!
So, I found one of Presley's fairy outfits from last year, and with a few rubber bands and a safety pin, Carsyn became a fairy princess just like her big sister. She was ecstatic! They did a full on photo shoot for me.
I am like their own personal paparazzi.
Love this one!
Princess Carsyn
Daddy helping Carsyn get ready
Fly away little one
That night Carsyn had to be a "tiger" because she wouldn't fit in the stroller with her wings. Everyone complemented Presley on her "adorable little brother" and she just laughed.
Here he/she is "mid tip" right before falling over.
She couldn't get enough of this pumpkin!
Admiring our work (and by "our", I mean Daddy's work.)
Little Carsyn was fascinated by the candle inside!
She brought it trick-or-treating with us too.
The stash! (Notice Mommy picked Kit-Kats, Peanut Butter Cups, and Twix.)
Presley with Daddy, or she calls him, "The Prince Of All The Fairies." He was...ummm.....honored?!
Mommy, Pres and Carsyn trick-or=treating
Ummm yea.....so we thought this cat was a stray. Presley and I buy her cat food at the store and she hangs out by our house. Apparently she is either 1) Not stray or 2) Pretty clever and talented in order to dress herself up.
The end of the night. We had so much fun!
I don't want my kids to grow up.
This is way too much fun.

Friday, October 30, 2009

How To Live Flash 55

Pray
Meditate
Be aware
Dance
Feel
Breathe
Relax
Enjoy
Laugh
Play
Create
Envision
Let Go
Forgive
Accept
Move On
Work
Empathize
Serve
Contribute
Listen
Learn
Enquire
Consider
Reflect
Cultivate oneself
Enhance competencies
Lighten up
Celebrate
Dream
Give thanks
Evolve
Love
Share
Give
Receive
Walk softly
Live gently
Radiate
Dissolve
Simplify
Surrender
Trust.....
Be born anew

Share your Friday Flash 55 with the world..and of course G-man. 55 words is all it takes :)

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Baskets and Boxes

When I got home from the gym the other day, there was a huge box on our front porch. Turns out, it was from my dad. He sent (well, he had his secretary send) a big Halloween basket for the girls, complete with Halloween music, tons of fun decorations, and cookie making supplies. My dad's love language is gift giving, and so this really meant alot to our family, and the kids had so much fun! Presley is quite the little baker and decorator too!
Cheese!
Presley's creations
MMMMM!
Our finished products
We even let Carsyn give it a try
She really did try too!
Here is her slobber ghost.
And not surprisingly, the kids had just as much-
if not more- fun in the box the Halloween basket came it.
They seriously played in there for over an hour
It's still in our front room, three days later too :)
Cheap thrills, I must say!

Friday, October 23, 2009

The Interview...One Year Later.

Last year about this time I interviewed Presley. You can read it here. Here is this years...funny to see her answers.
1.What is something your mom always says to you?
I love you
2. What makes your mom happy?
Mmmm how about pictures? Like when I color you pictures.
3. What makes your mom sad?
When I don’t give you hugs
4. How does your mom make you laugh?
Hey! What’s the big idea? (no clue)
5. How old is your mom?
Presley- I don’t know.
Me- Well then just guess
Presley- But I don’t know
Me- Just guess then
Presley- Ok fine. How about 13?
(She shrugs her shoulders and bites her lip)
6. How tall is your mom?
This tall (points to my feet and then to my head)
7. What is her favorite thing to do?
Hug me
8. What does your mom do when you're not around?She does boring things with Sissy (When Presley was at school one day she was mad because she thought Carsyn and I just partied all day while she was away. I told her it the baby and I are bored without her.)
9. What is your mom really good at?
Coloring inside the lines.
10. What is your mom not so good at?
Baseball (No clue, and actually I am pretty dang good.)
11. What is your mom's job?
Job? Gym!
12. What is your mom's favorite food?
Hmmmm your favorite food? Broccoli
13. What do you and your mom do together?
How about go on a Mommy/Daughter date together?
14. How do you know your mom loves you?
How about….ummm…..pick flowers and make pictures with me.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Shake Your Groove Thang

Carsyn is such a ham lately. She dances to almost everything and has mad skills to top it off! This little black cat comes everywhere with us, and she literally cries if we leave the house without it.
video